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 Real Chuck Norris Facts

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Ğârk_raptör


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PostSubject: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sat May 31, 2008 9:35 pm

Here are some true Chuck Norris facts.



The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

In an interview for Times Chuck Norris was asked what he thought about all the Chuck Norris Jokes circulating around. He simply replied that they weren't jokes then went back to his daily routine of drinking a mug of nails

Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition.

The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once ...ONCE.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Ironically, Chuck Norris' hidden talent is invisibility.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris used to beat the heck out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not 'attempt' murder.

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would win.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Theres an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris ... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he�s pushing the Earth down.
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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:02 am

LOL
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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:55 am

Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:13 am

Lol you got it from the chuck norris facts website didn't you Smile

Did you see the one that says he eats lightning and farts thunder?
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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:18 pm

Lol DR
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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 4:54 pm

no i didn't see that one psycho.

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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:05 pm

that one is funny. There's one about a quarter that is not really somethign I should be saying in front of all these children tho.
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PostSubject: Re: Real Chuck Norris Facts   Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:28 pm

alright then,

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